i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
