What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
