That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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