HIV tests are more positive than that guy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
