garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Someone shit on the floor
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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