the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize