dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
