Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
