gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
