sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
