NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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