bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
