yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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