Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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