Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
