whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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