dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
