When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
