Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
