5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
