my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
