no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My balls are so social today.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize