I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
