I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
