It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
