ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
