i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
