based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
