HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
