Im at strip club and am horny
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
40s are totally the cure
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