Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
