found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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