I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love having hate sex.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
