why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
