I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
