Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How naked do you want me to be?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
