dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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