she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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