First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
