the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
