his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
