More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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