So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to stop coming to work sober
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
