True but thats because hes a fetus.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
