Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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