Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
