Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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