come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
