omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
