is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you traded sex for a burrito?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
